Day 16 - wow - SIXTEEN

Oh my goodness, I have to pinch myself, day 16.  I just returned from doing the grocery shopping, and I said to Pete (my superman) "I spent $### and I bought NO cigarettes" - hahahaha NO CIGARETTES NO CIGARETTES - and just in case you didn't hear me

NO CIGARETTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So far I've saved approx $320 and NOT smoked 480 cigarettes

Wow, I feel really good.  I left off at Day 6 and I was itching to return home after my one week of self-imposed exile.  It was one of the hardest weeks of my life.  Physically and emotionally exhausting.

The drive home on the 7th May was sooo long, I was only 1 1/2 hours from home but it felt like forever. I arrived in the driveway to be greeted by my crazy "boys" with towels on their heads doing some crazy dance to welcome me home. I got cuddles and kisses - and then it was like - ok so you're home and let's just get on with it.  LOL, not exactly how I was feeling - I was so emotional and worked up and wanted to know everything. All my emotions were heightened and raw.  The "boys" had had a "normal" week, just without me. I'd had a very "abnormal" week, without them and making a major life change.  I can't express how much I missed them, no words for those feelings.

Pete and I spent some time catching up over a yummy coffee on our balcony - I kept thinking, I'm missing something, and the feeling of something "missing" continued on for over a week.  It has only just now (day 15 yesterday) started to dissipate.  The "boys" and I went for a big walk to our beach a good Km each way. We love that walk, and whilst I was walking I was reflecting on the difference (already!) that 6 days without cigarettes had made to my breathing.  At the risk of being labelled an "idiot!" (I know, I know), I am asthmatic, was diagnosed from an early age.  I have always had ventolin.  I have always known that smoking and asthma do NOT mix.  Moving right along, the GOOD NEWS is that I have only used my ventolin about 3 times in the past week. Incredible.



No More Ventolin!



It truly is an addiction, a habit that you easily build into your life and allow (without realising) to rule you. When it comes to addiction, intelligence & knowledge go out the window.

This past week has been incredibly difficult. My sleep pattern seems to be out of whack and I'm tired. I am unsettled and waking often. My emotions are up and down.

I have taken the approach that having a cigarette (from the day I stopped - 1st May) is NOT an option. So no matter how I have felt during these past 16 days, it has NOT been an option to have a cigarette. The only option has been to push through.  I have been "prickly" to say the least.  I have not felt like myself, I've had bouts of breaking down in tears, getting angry at things I'd normally just not say anything about (like the woman who tried to give me a small coffee when I always order a SUPER big one!!! silly woman, I order there every morning and she still doesn't remember - ok, so that is something I'd normally get annoyed about, but seriously I could have jumped over the counter and throttled her that morning!!LOL).  

One of the parents at school pick-up early last week enquired as to how I had gone "quitting", when I told him that I was quite "prickly" and I felt sorry for my "boys" he said "well, it's only fair that they have to experience some of the pain too!!" - ROFL, I thought this was hilarious - obviously "my boys" didn't think so!

I've had alot of stressful challenges this past week, my kids, an important project in my business just to name a few, and during this time, I've found myself automatically wanting to reach for a cigarette, or walk out onto my balcony to have "my" time - it's been so painful both physically and emotionally to deflect these feelings, but I have been pushing through them and I feel proud each time I have a win.

Have you seen that ad on tv where the guy is sitting at a boardroom table, and his colleague asks him if he wants to join him for a cigarette, and he says "no", and then this little itty bitty band strikes up a song and he starts dancing along - that's how I feel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yay for me.  Day 16 and moving forward to many more days, months, years to come.... I'll post weekly, I believe it's important to remain accountable not only to myself but to others.  Thanks for your support.

This is for me, AND for my beautiful family, love you guys xoxoxo



Me and "My Boys" xoxox



My "bonus" children - twins Nikki & Rhys (Happy 21st Birthday for today) xoxox

Day 5 and 6 - back out from under my doona!

What a strange and wonderful two days.  Day 5 started with another early morning (middle of the night) wake up, couldn't go back to sleep, still strange feelings in my body - no doubt withdrawal, so read another chapter or two of my book.  I was excited as I had already booked myself in for a special pamper morning for Day 5 at a local hairdresser.  On Day 4 I had asked around Leongatha who people would recommend for a morning of hair makeover - it was unanimous - Inspiration Hair Design was it.

I was up and at 'em Thursday morning and arrived at Inspiration to be greated by the friendly staff. The salon was already buzzing (at 9:15am!) - 4 customers in the chair, and 2 customers in reception booking in for appointments - I'm impressed.  I was amazed, the salon is off the main street and if I hadn't asked around I may have missed it all together. 

Emma is the owner and Senior Stylist and she was just delightful.  Before she even came over to speak to me (she was finishing up another client) she had already scoped out her recommendation for my hair.  I like that, I certainly have my own idea of what I'd like, but I'm always open to taking on others suggestions.  Emma suggested cutting a layer into my hair (oh no, not a layer, I've had bad experiences with layers in the past) and she also recommended adding some foils of "violet" - VIOLET?????????? Now that's one I haven't heard before, usually it's red or caramel suggested. Mmmm, I looked around at all the happy customers and went with my gutt feeling - this woman looked like she knew what she was talking about and today was all about me, so I agreed and said "Ok Emma, go for it"!!  The rest is history, but let me say everything from the colour application, the cappucino & mini chocolate bought once I'd settled in for the colour to develop AND the yummo massage chair at the basins was just fabulous.  The only down side was I was THRILLED with the colour of my hair and would have liked to have seen it a little more dramatic!!! Sorry Emma, you were aboslutely right and I appreciate that you went a little "easy" and erred on the side of caution.  AND the layer cut into my hair - well it's just perfect, now it sits exactly how I need it too without me having to spend time making it do so!!  THANKS Emma and staff, I'll definately be back and I highly recommend your salon - tell the girls I sent you.

After a coffee stop it was on to SO!Me which is a wonderful gift store owned by Jennie & Hess, my hosts at my accommodation Zenergie.  The SO!Me store is such an experience, I spent a good 45 minutes browsing lots of beautiful jewellery, bags, clothing (including some gorgeous plus-size options), books, belts, scarves and beautiful giftware.  I found it so hard to choose, but I ended up choosing two pairs of gorgeous earrings. Jennie & Hess have decorated their villas with gorgeous furniture and nick-nacks also available for sale via their store.  Zenergie was the perfect choice for my getaway this week, it is not too far from home, yet is far enough away to be away.  It is a 14 minute drive to the nearest shop (I know because I just drove there to get a coffee!!) and is quiet and peaceful. 




My Ploughman's Lunch stop at Koonwarra

 

I stopped for lunch at Koonwarra.  I sat outside, even though it was quite chilly at 2pm, but I was so amazed at my sense of smell.  When I stepped out of the car I was suddenly overwhelmed by an incredible bouquet of smells, trees, flowers, cooking smells.  It was so foreign.  I am always the one in my family who has the most acute sense of hearing and smell, yet here I was with an even more honed in sense.  It was so lovely!  I sat and read my book, took lots of deep breaths of the fragrant air and enjoyed a lovely ploughman's lunch with fresh local produce.



My gorgeous retreat - www.zenergie.com.au



At the end of my day, I realised I was feeling agitated and upset again.  I spoke to "my boys" on skype and this just felt even more difficult.  I am really missing them.  On top of that I've found it really difficult not to "work" - technology is a wonderful thing, but to truly relax and get away it would require switching off all technology. My phone has still rung at least 5 times a day, yesterday I ignored the phone only to find that when I did check the message it was a network who wanted me to do an interview on TV today!  No such luck - I'm unavailable!!  

I had every intention to exercise every day, to eat and sleep at regular times - but that all went out the window the second my body began to show withdrawral symptoms (day 2).  Realisitically I've managed to keep myself busy enough to not go and buy cigarettes, I've tested myself, I've forced myself to sleep so I stopped thinking, I've tried to not think too much about anything.  It hasn't been how I thought it would, BUT the result is exactly what I wanted.

I am a non-smoker!  It's been a long, difficult week.  I've chewed ALOT of gum, I've done ALOT of breathing exercises, I've talked to myself alot!! I've slept alot.  All this has been worth it.  I am a non-smoker.

I am really looking forward to packing up and driving home tomorrow. At the same time I am tentative, I can't wait to see my boys, but I am anxious about being back in the "rat race" and ensuring that I deal with stress without picking up a cigarette.

I am so grateful to my beautiful partner Pete who has made this week possible. His belief in me, his support and his willingness to pull out all stops to make sure it was possible for me to disengage from our lives for a week is just so amazing.  Pete is a non-smoker. He has NEVER made a big deal out of me smoking.  It is no secret that he does (did) not like me smoking, but the difference is that he understood that being disapproving was not going to work in helping me to give-up.   I've tried a couple of times to give-up at home over the past couple of years and have fallen down by day 3, it was Pete that suggested I needed to go away for a week to ensure I could make it work and that he would support that. It was simply said "when you're ready, I'll do what I can to make that happen for you". And suddenly two weeks ago I was ready. I am so lucky and so deserving. My children have been a huge strength too, they have been worried about me smoking too, and from the minute I broached my plan with them they were thrilled and supportive - not a simple thing for a 7 and 9 year old to have "mum" go away for a whole week. I'm so proud of them.  And my daughter Nikki who called me early this week to see how I was going, and to tell me how proud she is of me!  Thanks Nikki x  AND to my parents who are ALWAYS supportive, thanks guys x!

And finally, thank you to everyone out there who has supported me with comments on the blog, facebook messages, emails, text messages and phone calls. It's so nice to have had such a huge support network, it's appreciated.

I will update this blog each week for the next few months, I think it's important for me and for anyone who's considering giving up.

I just want to remind you that I have done this cold-turkey with no nicotine replacement, no anything.  That worked for me BUT for you it may not be the best choice. There are so many options available and I highly recommend you choose what suits you the best.

I have also read and listened to the CD "Stop Smoking In One Hour" by Susan Hepburn, I did this yesterday, I felt like I needed a back up to make sure - to be sure - to be sure LOL.

My ashtray is empty and my life is full and happy.

Love your shape!

Janine x





Day 4 - My mood is in sync with the weather

Wow, Day 4. I awoke at 3:21am - wide awake! What the? Couldn't settle, was quite restless, my pillows looked like they had been through the wringer and back again... read my book for an hour or so then fell back to sleep. Awoke mid-morning - that familiar nagging feeling from my body, telling me I need a cigarette and my brain telling it "it's not an option".  So far so good.

I headed out to Leongatha today. Spent some time looking around the stores and checking out the cafes. A gorgeous little cafe called Lulu, delicious coffee in fact. 

I had a win, I sat outside and the barista asked me "do you need an ashtray?" to which I replied "I don't smoke"!!!!! 

I DON'T SMOKE! I DON'T SMOKE! I DON'T SMOKE! I DON'T SMOKE! I DON'T SMOKE!

The weather actually mimicked my mood today, it was like I was in sync with it. Pockets of blue sky, and then huge dark rain clouds threatening, I stopped twice to take photos but didn't manage to get one particular beautiful piece of sky that had a black patch with a blue circle in the middle surrounded by white fluffy clouds, almost like a portal to something beautiful. 

My mood in Sync with the weather

Driving through the rolling hills is soothing, but I am still madly chewing gum and drinking water. Aghghghghg the cravings are driving me crazy... Time to head back to the safety of my little villa...

Aaaah my own little piece of silence....

Open the doors and close them gently, step into the serenity...

I've still got a raspy voice, I lost it on Saturday before I left and it's just starting to come back now. I can feel that my body is feeling better, but the cravings just keep going. I oscilate between happy and grumpy and agitated, I just know that if I wasn't here I would have given in by now.  This is HARD.  It's really hard.

I am finding it hard to relax - can you tell? I wanted to read, relaxingly. I wanted to watch movies, relaxingly. I wanted to play Wii (I've got Just Dance 2 and I haven't tried it yet!) and I haven't.  Only 3 more sleeps til it's back to reality. TOMORROW.  One more sleep then I will get to the relaxing stage.  This is hard. I can do it.

I've done it!!!  Love your shape! Jx



Day 3 - arghghghghghghghghghghghghgh

Today has been a tough day. I awoke early, quite unusual for me, the night owl. I felt good, for about 3 minutes - then the stomach aches started. I got up, brushed my teeth (feels good and usually takes the craving feeling away), then climbed back into bed with my book.

I text "my boys" to say good morning and struggled to stay focussed on anything but wanting a cigarette. Then I felt myself getting angry, so I jumped up did a few stretches, it didn't work.  I put my head under the doona and willed myself back to sleep.

It worked!!!  Midday had arrived and I had just awoken again. Good, I thought to myself only 1/2 a day to go then it's bed time again.  I feel quite unmotivated. Usually I am running on full throtle and everything is go go go.  Today the day felt annoying, an inconvenience.  I know I am making no sense.  I watched Dr Phil, I love Dr Phil I never get time to watch it, but today I had time!  Today's topic was a "Housewife Bootcamp" - mmm seriously entertaining, but seriously disturbing so many gorgeous and seeminingly intelligent women with so many issues.  Ok, I switched it off, MUST do something positive and rewarding. 

I drank some more water, some green tea, then popped a gum in my mouth (my jaw still hurts from chewing)... I dressed (again!) in my favourite (did I say favourite!!!) leisurewear - I feel FANTASTIC in this... I've been raving about it on Facebook , but for those of you who have missed it, you MUST check out http://www.styleandsubstance.com.au/ for their tummy control relaxed pants and little black jacket - these are THE most comfortable gear ever! Ok here's a pic - it's impossible to take a pic of yourself, at least your whole body all by yourself, but you get the gist right?! LOL

Ok, so I packed my water bottle, an apple and off I went. I drove to Wonthaggi today (yesterday it was Inverloch).  Wonthaggi is a small town, but they have an Aldi, Woolworths, Big W and Target Country. They also had a hotch potch of other smaller stores. I was really disappointed to see that a plus-size store Karmella Fashions had closed down!  The options for anyone fashion wise here in Wongthaggi are a little disappointing, that was until I stumbled across Maxines in Blair Street Wonthaggi.  They have GORGEOUS gypsy/boho fashion, incredible jewellery AND alot of their stock is appropriate for a curvy figure. I spent quite alot of time in the store today and was very impressed. 

The customer service lady (her name escapes me now, sorry!) was really lovely, and she offered me a sachet of "Throat Chakra" - it's a little sachet that has incense etc. in it and you breath it in and it is supposed to help with your throat - I have lost my voice, it's been like that for over three days now - I always appreciate customer service that is personal!

Then I crossed the road to the local op shop, and picked myself up a great bargain, a Marks & Spencer winter jacket for the total cost of a cup of coffee - $3.50 (in fact my coffee from the cafe next door was $4.50!!). LOVE this jacket.

I tested myself this afternoon, I sat outside the cafe, amongst the other guests and smokers.  My body and mind is telling me I want a cigarette, but I know that I don't. This is just the addiction playing out.  I sat amongst the smokers and it smelt disgusting! and at the same time, it smelt good. It was such a weird sensation.  I also remember from last time I tried to give up (mid-last year) that when I got to this point I did go and have a cigarette and it tasted revolting and I forced myself to smoke again - just like when I started because I had convinced myself that my body needed it.  THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT - I DON'T NEED IT, I DON'T WANT IT - I will beat the addiction.

I read the paper and drank my coffee, then on to a quick visit to Woolworths for some extra supplies of gum and milk, and through the rolling green hills back to my temporary home. 

During the drive I was listening to my favourite Bernard Fanning, his music is moving and I love it.  This bought on some tears and again some more stomach cramps and cravings. More water and more determination.  I'm home now and I've just put on a face mask, I love my skincare.  For those who read the review of my recent "Embrace your Curves" Weekend Workshop,  I believe that looking after your skin is a crucial part of making the most of who you are today.  Yesterday I used the Infiniti Glycolic & Hydrating Mask and today I used the Infiniti Purifying Clay Mask with Manuka Honey - of course everyday I use the 5 Steps - I have been using this skincare program for over 10 years and although I admit I have been blessed with beautiful skin, I can also see that smoking has caused alot of damage to my skin and at almost 40 years of age, I need all the help I can get to keep my skin young and hydrated. 

 Wearing my Infiniti Purifying Clay Mask With Honey

It's almost time to speak to "my boys" on skype, this is my favourite time of the day!  I'm so proud of myself, I have almost made it through day 3 - it's been a tough day today, and I know that it's just going to get easier. I know that Pete & Zac are going to be so pleased when they see me and I tell them "yep I did it again today!" - THANK YOU to everyone who has posted their support via the blog and also facebook and personally by texting me, your support is much appreciated.

Love your shape! Jx



Day 2 - My jaw hurts from chewing gum

The sun is setting on my 2nd day as a quitter!

As I sit here at my laptop I am reflecting on how I am feeling just on 48 hours since my last cigarette. 

My little computer corner at my retreat

I feel proud, agitated, quiet, amazed, eager, hungry, determined, different.  When I look in the mirror I can already see a difference in my skin - I've always had great skin, but it seems a little brighter and more hydrated. 

I had a phonecall from the QUIT line today, I contacted them last week, as a back up to help if I needed it this week. I asked them to call Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Funny when I got the voicemail I realised that I was pleased they'd called, but felt like I didn't need the support today.  It's strange being alone.  I'm always surrounded by alot of noise, 2 kids at home, 2 businesses, computers, phones, tv, a dog etc. equals alot of noise.  So I am actually really enjoying not speaking and just pleasing myself. It's also quite confronting as when those cravings hit (and they are coming and going like labour pains at the moment!) I have no one to rely on but myself!  That's probably a good thing. I think.

Today I've been thinking alot about why I started smoking in the first place.  I started smoking over 24 years ago, in September 1987 to be exact, in Appingedam, The Netherlands.  My parents will tell you that I was always ANTI-Smoking, my dad smoked until I was about 7 (he gave up 33 years ago this January! Go Dad!) but I remember vaguely smoke smells and I remember more that he used to chew alot of Juicy Fruit gum.  Apart from my dad, I don't remember anyone around me smoking. My first taste of a cigarette was when my cousins and I found an old, stale packet of cigarettes in a bungalow at my grandparents house during a visit (my youngest uncle had smoked for a time and left them in the drawer there).  We got sprung with the cigarettes and my grandpa made us light a cigarette and try it - of course we all thought it was disgusting and vowed never to touch them. Uh huh!

So flash forward to September 1987, I was 16 years old, and was in Appingedam, (a small village in northern Holland in the province of Groningen). I was an exchange student with YFU (Youth for Understanding) and had been with my "host family" for a little over 8 weeks.  I was really struggling to fit in with my new "family" but LOVED my new friends and school.  One of the pluses was at 16 I was suddenly allowed to go to discos!  In Australia you had to be 18.  In the village there was ONE disco, it was called "Temptation" - conjurs up all sorts of weird thoughts doesn't it - but it was a great building where I would park my push bike (a mandatory part of life in Holland) in the bike rack at the front with the other hundreds, meet my friends, take off our winter coats and scarves and leave them in the "cloak room" then make it to the inside where we would drink "Sinas" which was a glammed up form of soft drink whilst dancing to the latest tunes (for those old enough to remember, the top 5 included "Beds are Burning" by Midnight Oil, "Kick" by INXS and "Never going to give you up" by Rick Astley!) oh the memories. 

I can remember exactly the reason I started smoking. I was feeling quite down, I was unhappy with the family, I had tried to "talk" with them (but with language barrier, cultural differences and mental illness (this didn't become apparent or public until much later, but my host mum was quite sick)) I was at my witts end.  I remember intentionally walking over to a cigarette machine which was in the corner near the bar, inserting a couple of 1 guilder coins and hitting the "Marlboro Lights" button. Before I knew it, I had a pack of 10 cigarettes (American style, heavier tobacco and longer cigarettes) and I consciously opened the pack up and asked my friend for a "light".  I then proceeded to sit and cough my lungs out until I got past my body's reaction to reject the smoke and I could smoke the cigarette.  That first packet of 10 cigarettes probably lasted me about 2 weeks - I kept trying, sometimes smoking just a few drags and then butting it out and returning it to the pack for next time.

If I reflect on this now - I cannot believe that I did that to myself, and that 24 years later I am here in a personal retreat dealing with that decision years later.  At the time it was teenage rebellion - I knew that my parents would never believe I, the self rightous anti-smoker would NEVER smoke - that my host family who especially requested a non-smoker would now have to deal with someone who smoked! AND my new friends, who all smoked, would be impressed! Wouldn't they? AND that emotional part of me who was 16, miles and miles from home, confused and rebellious had a part that was just mine! Incredible isn't it.

So flash forward again to three days ago.  The QUIT ads on television terrify me more thank I can ever express, yet when they come on TV I get up and go for a cigarette (seriously!) or grab the remote and change the channel.  I buy (whoops - I mean bought) packets of cigarettes and ignored the scary ads on the packaging - yes it terrified me, but I was able to block out the emotions.  When I picked up a pack of cigarettes, or made the decision to go for a cigarette (I always smoke outside, never inside - so I have to actually Go out to smoke) I would NEVER think of those ads, advertising, or look at the pacakge. I would simply, sit, pull out a cigarette, light it, and inhale deeply. End of story.

So what makes a highly intelligent woman who has everything to live for able to ignore all the warning signs and continue to smoke?  That is often the question pitched at me.  I can't answer that question. Yet.

Today - the ashtray is empty!

Today, it's the end of day 2, I am still a quitter. Today has been harder than yesterday, I've consumed healthy food (yoghurt & honey, hommus & vegies, about to have steak salad for dinner) and not so healthy - dark chocolate (more than the recommended!!), Pringles chips (1/2 pack) - but I feel good. My jaw hurts from chewing gum.  I've been for a walk along the beach at Inverloch. I'm about to settle in for the night and read some more of my book and watch some TV.  Life is good. I miss my boys more than I can say, but by Saturday it's going to be worth it, to have a partner and mum who's a non-smoker and a quitter in the best sense of the word!

The sun setting on my 2nd day.

Until tomorrow. Love your shape! Jx





Day 1

Will I have the strength to do this? What happens if I fail? I don't want to leave my loved ones behind! 

I can do this, I feel great already, all packed and ready to go...

These were the thoughts going around and around in my head last night as I retired to bed around midnight. When I make a decision to change something it always feels like I have a good and a bad angel sitting on my shoulder, one telling me one thing and vice versa!

Interestingly, my "last" cigarette was no big deal. I felt like I wanted a big band and lots of lights and fanfare about it being my last - but really - it wasn't necessary.  The fanfare and big band were in my head - the only place that it counts.

This morning when I awoke, I "extra" savoured the snuggle time with Pete - I was really going to miss him. I went down to wake up Zac and had some snuggle time with him too. I'm so proud of Zac, 7 1/2 years old and so brave. I know he's worried about me leaving, he even tried to put it on me last week and I said "hang on, I need your support, not a guilt trip!" and to his credit he flipped his attitude right around and has been fantastic since.  I have left 7 envelopes for Zac, a page with a special photo of him and I - a different one for every day, with a personal note to him, he's already opened the first one, and text me "excellent" when I asked what he thought of my letter!!

Pete and Zac buzzed around me this morning, I was focussed on finalising my suitcase - and then I realised they were on "butt duty" - cleaning up my car, the ashtry near my office at the front door, and the ashtray on our balcony - destroying any evidence that I smoked - AND removing any further temptation. Bless them!

Saying goodbye to "my boys" was really difficult, and for a moment I questioned myself again. But then with the words "I love you" and "go get em" I was off and the next chapter of my life is beginning. AND just as important a chapter of my life is now over.

My first stop was to have a healing/massage with my dear friend Boadie - she has the healing hands and works in a gorgeous little hut which is fitted out with a beautiful big massage table, candles and set in the most beautiful garden.  It was a magical start to the journey. 

A quick stop for some groceries and I was on the road again.  Funny, ordinarily I would have smoked, hmmmm let's say 8 cigarettes from leaving home to arriving at my destination.  I estimate by now, early evening, I would have smoked another 8-10 - is it possible I can feel the difference already?  I think I can.

I was welcomed to my getaway in the rolling hills of Kongwak, Vic - unloaded my car, set up "house" and boiled the kettle.  Mmmm, now would be time to have a cigarette - that thought went through my head quite a few times today.  I made a cup of peppermint tea and sat outside - in the exact spot I would normally smoke - and read the paper in the sun.  I've been chewing Extra chewing gum all day on and off and brushing my teeth - it feels so nice, all minty and sweet. But there is something missing - that taste, that feeling.,... Anyone who has smoked knows what I mean.  Ok, next option, go for a sleep - I climbed into the huge big bed overlooking the rolling hills (photos tomorrow) and slept for 2 hours!  That's un heard of for me, I hate afternoon sleeps - but I feel great, I passed the craving point, I feel better and I'm refreshed ready to see if Chrissie wins the logie!!!! GO CHRISSIE!!!!!!!!!!

Wow, this feels good, hard, but good. I am a quitter, I AM A QUITTER.... Jx



And so it begins....

Follow me on my personal journey to become a non-smoker.  I've never considered myself a "quitter" in life before, but today I am proud to say I am working towards becoming a "quitter"

The journey begins this Sunday 1st May, 2011 at 9:30am.... join me.

My goal is to share my experience and by doing so I am making myself accountable not just to myself but to others too.  This I see as adding value to my ability to empower myself to achieve my goal.

I'm ready, it has begun. Jx