Tuesday, 3 May 2011

Day 3 - arghghghghghghghghghghghghgh

Today has been a tough day. I awoke early, quite unusual for me, the night owl. I felt good, for about 3 minutes - then the stomach aches started. I got up, brushed my teeth (feels good and usually takes the craving feeling away), then climbed back into bed with my book.

I text "my boys" to say good morning and struggled to stay focussed on anything but wanting a cigarette. Then I felt myself getting angry, so I jumped up did a few stretches, it didn't work.  I put my head under the doona and willed myself back to sleep.

It worked!!!  Midday had arrived and I had just awoken again. Good, I thought to myself only 1/2 a day to go then it's bed time again.  I feel quite unmotivated. Usually I am running on full throtle and everything is go go go.  Today the day felt annoying, an inconvenience.  I know I am making no sense.  I watched Dr Phil, I love Dr Phil I never get time to watch it, but today I had time!  Today's topic was a "Housewife Bootcamp" - mmm seriously entertaining, but seriously disturbing so many gorgeous and seeminingly intelligent women with so many issues.  Ok, I switched it off, MUST do something positive and rewarding. 

I drank some more water, some green tea, then popped a gum in my mouth (my jaw still hurts from chewing)... I dressed (again!) in my favourite (did I say favourite!!!) leisurewear - I feel FANTASTIC in this... I've been raving about it on Facebook , but for those of you who have missed it, you MUST check out http://www.styleandsubstance.com.au/ for their tummy control relaxed pants and little black jacket - these are THE most comfortable gear ever! Ok here's a pic - it's impossible to take a pic of yourself, at least your whole body all by yourself, but you get the gist right?! LOL

Ok, so I packed my water bottle, an apple and off I went. I drove to Wonthaggi today (yesterday it was Inverloch).  Wonthaggi is a small town, but they have an Aldi, Woolworths, Big W and Target Country. They also had a hotch potch of other smaller stores. I was really disappointed to see that a plus-size store Karmella Fashions had closed down!  The options for anyone fashion wise here in Wongthaggi are a little disappointing, that was until I stumbled across Maxines in Blair Street Wonthaggi.  They have GORGEOUS gypsy/boho fashion, incredible jewellery AND alot of their stock is appropriate for a curvy figure. I spent quite alot of time in the store today and was very impressed. 

The customer service lady (her name escapes me now, sorry!) was really lovely, and she offered me a sachet of "Throat Chakra" - it's a little sachet that has incense etc. in it and you breath it in and it is supposed to help with your throat - I have lost my voice, it's been like that for over three days now - I always appreciate customer service that is personal!

Then I crossed the road to the local op shop, and picked myself up a great bargain, a Marks & Spencer winter jacket for the total cost of a cup of coffee - $3.50 (in fact my coffee from the cafe next door was $4.50!!). LOVE this jacket.

I tested myself this afternoon, I sat outside the cafe, amongst the other guests and smokers.  My body and mind is telling me I want a cigarette, but I know that I don't. This is just the addiction playing out.  I sat amongst the smokers and it smelt disgusting! and at the same time, it smelt good. It was such a weird sensation.  I also remember from last time I tried to give up (mid-last year) that when I got to this point I did go and have a cigarette and it tasted revolting and I forced myself to smoke again - just like when I started because I had convinced myself that my body needed it.  THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT - I DON'T NEED IT, I DON'T WANT IT - I will beat the addiction.

I read the paper and drank my coffee, then on to a quick visit to Woolworths for some extra supplies of gum and milk, and through the rolling green hills back to my temporary home. 

During the drive I was listening to my favourite Bernard Fanning, his music is moving and I love it.  This bought on some tears and again some more stomach cramps and cravings. More water and more determination.  I'm home now and I've just put on a face mask, I love my skincare.  For those who read the review of my recent "Embrace your Curves" Weekend Workshop,  I believe that looking after your skin is a crucial part of making the most of who you are today.  Yesterday I used the Infiniti Glycolic & Hydrating Mask and today I used the Infiniti Purifying Clay Mask with Manuka Honey - of course everyday I use the 5 Steps - I have been using this skincare program for over 10 years and although I admit I have been blessed with beautiful skin, I can also see that smoking has caused alot of damage to my skin and at almost 40 years of age, I need all the help I can get to keep my skin young and hydrated. 

 Wearing my Infiniti Purifying Clay Mask With Honey

It's almost time to speak to "my boys" on skype, this is my favourite time of the day!  I'm so proud of myself, I have almost made it through day 3 - it's been a tough day today, and I know that it's just going to get easier. I know that Pete & Zac are going to be so pleased when they see me and I tell them "yep I did it again today!" - THANK YOU to everyone who has posted their support via the blog and also facebook and personally by texting me, your support is much appreciated.

Love your shape! Jx

No comments:

Post a Comment

Please offer your support by commenting below: